Friday, 9 December 2016

Women's safety manual

Women's safety manual


Pink is a 2016 Bollywood movie which I finished watching recently(a bit late of course). It's one of the movies that got me wondering at the social set up of my country yet again. Amitabh Bachan's character aptly brings forth the hypocrisy of Indian society that comes with a SAFETY MANUAL for women. Several RULES described in the movie are as follows :-

Rule no. 1 - A girl should never go ANYWHERE alone with a boy. Anywhere means a resort, a hotel room for using a toilet or for any other purpose. Else she is herself responsible if her modesty is outraged.
Rule no. 2 - A girl should never get frank with a boy or touch him while talking for this will become a hint/invitation for the boy to rape her.
Rule no. 3 - Never walk alone at night, because in this country a girl's character gets decided by the hands of a clock.
"Hmare desh me ghadi ki suyiyan ek ladki ka character decide krti hain."
Rule no. 4 - Drinking is a measure of girls' character while for boys, it's just a health hazard. Terms and conditions differ for both genders. Because if a girl will drink then she is bound to be sexually available, that's what boys will perceive about her.

P.S. The movie tells the importance of CONSENT. "Because NO means NO. No matter the person who says it is your friend, girl friend, a sex worker or even your own wife. When someone says so - STOP!!"



Saturday, 6 August 2016

Punjabi singers, what are you upto?

Punjabi singers, what are you upto?


Punjabi singers can never stop giving me reasons to hate them more than before. What kind of lyrics do they come up with every time? Self proclaiming themselves as very powerful angry young men/Gabru jawaan/ kharku or whatever. But for heaven's sake, this is what our Punjabi youth is learning and imbibing. I mean how else do you expect the youth of Punjab to behave when you make such nauseatingly disgusting songs?


1. Vakh vakh asle di rakhi poori range, ik do maheene baad karidi aa change
Mauser, pistal, 32 bor, 12 bor, asle de sir te ni, bahawan ch vi poora jor
Modheyan te rakh hatheyar gabru, mafia mandeer tere yaar gabru
Nit nave bhalde shikaar gabru
Mitran nu shaunk, goliyan chalon da, bai goliyan chalon da, bai goliyan chalon da
Mitran nu shaunk, goliyan chalon da...


(I have a range of guns and weapons. Mafia people are my friends. I love shooting people.) 

Well done Diljit Dosanjh. I am so proud of you!

2. Shehar vich ajj hundi charcha, hoya 302 da parcha
Kitey rabba na bhulaya, foka zor na vikhaya
Rabba na bhulaya, foka zor na vikhaya
Game saari te sikhanjha leya kas ni
Velleyan di akh ajj laal aye
Koi banda bunda maarna taan das ni...


(I have been charged with section 302 of IPC several times which accounts for the punishment for murder. So don't worry babe, I am red with rage today, tell me if you want to get some one killed.)

I want to get Honey Singh killed. Please?

3. Uss mauke te singhan di
Talwar boldi ae
Uss mauke te surmeyan di
Riffle boldi ae...

(Sword and Riffle, I have them all.)

Dear Jazzy B, fantastic. Keep it up. BTW, what's with this nastily weird acronym you have converted your name into?  

4. aa ve paade o v paade 
peen to kade v thakde ni kaka 
kadi hoyi daru ehda wakhra e saroor 
chaa naal leyaya veer peeni e jaroor ajj challu 12 bor jehri hath vich chakki aa 
kadd yaara kad jehri gaddi vich rakhi aaa..

(I never get tired of drinking alcohol. Don't mess with me or else I will shoot you with my 12 bore gun.)

Oh you are such a macho man you fat-head Honey Singh! 

5. Daaru ko main dudhu ki tarah pee jaaun
Apni peeun tabhi to mota peg banaaun
Peg banaaun kabhi naap ke nahin
Apni peeun kisi ke baap ki nahin
Main Alcoholic hoon
Haan main alcoholic hoon...

(I am a proud alcoholic.)

Akshay kumar, you too?

P.S. So is this all what Punjab is about? Daru, ladkiyan and crimes? Is this how we want the world to perceive us? DIG DEEPER people!


Thursday, 30 June 2016

This is what I call HYPOCRISY

This is what I call HYPOCRISY


There was a time in the history of India when kings used to have many wives while women were not allowed to engage into polygamy. It was a time when there were different set of rules for men and women. King Dasharatha, for instance, had three wives of whom Kakayi was his most favorite perhaps because she was the youngest or sexiest of all the three queens. Then came the era of Mughals. Of these Mughal kings, there arrived king Akbar. I don't raise a question on his ability of making a good king or his wits or his diffidence, or perhaps any of the other Mughal kings. But this one practice of unfettered polygamy solely by men of that era is so unfair. 

These days my mom is too much into watching this perhaps dumbest of all other dumb serials that Indian TV channels serve us. Oh yes, I am talking about much hyped and tolerated Tv serial Jodha-Akbar. See, I personally liked the movie (at a time when I used to watch them) starring Hrithik and Aishwarya. The movie was apt in portraying this beautiful love story between Mughal emperor Akbar and his Hindu wife Jodha Bai. It was adored by the audience largely because the movie didn't mention that Akbar had few more wives apart from Jodha. And this is where the serial enters. This serial is showing the entire story with their own special effects of course. This serial made me aware of the real face of this rather tragic love story in which Jodha is the heroine but Akbar is the villain. Why? Well, there are several reasons -

1. Akbar was already married with two ladies named Rukaiya and Saleema before he forcefully took Jodha's father's kingdom and married her, again, FORCEFULLY!
2. This serial is now airing an episode in which he is all set to get married to yet another lady named Ateefa who he thinks needs his protection. Poor Jodha and Rukaiya are seen jealous but helpless. Later it is revealed that he was pretending to love Ateefa as he wanted to raise the curtains from his enemies' tactics. 
3. In another episode, Jodha was found kidnapped by some prisoner who claimed to love her. Mighty Akbar went all the way to rescue her but then had to think before proclaiming that he is ready to Koobool (accept) her. He was jealous and disturbed at the fact that his pregnant wife Jodha spent several days with a Paraya Mard!
4. Jodha thinks that her Shehanshah loves her- raised to the power infinity. Little does she know that he is a tharki who loves her only because she was his newly wedded wife and perhaps most beautiful of other two. 
5. Whenever he likes, he comes to Jodha's kaksh (living area); lures her into making her believe that he loves only her and ends up having sex with her.
6. I don't know how many more marriages will Akbar do in the coming episodes but as far as I understand, love can't happen with two or three persons all together. This is no tale of love. I think the serial should have been named - 'Akbar Aur Uski Begamien' instead of 'Jodha-Akbar'..!!

Wednesday, 11 May 2016

When I was a kid

When I was a kid


When I was a kid
I used to think there lives a ghost beneath my bed who will grab my leg when lights are put off
Now I realize there are monsters residing in each one of us deriding us to scoff

When I was a kid
I was scared of my Maths teacher whose HW I would repel
Now I am scared of being myself

When I was a kid
I used to count stars in the sky at night
Now I can’t even count on people; I fright

When I was a kid
I used to have a lot of friends with whom I used to steal looks
Now I have them only on face book

When I was a kid
I used to wish on a falling star
Now I wish the relationships I create don’t fall apart

When I was a kid
Flaunting the innocent hair of my body wasn’t disreputable
But now I need to get them raked off to look more presentable

When I was a kid
I could stand and sit according to my comfort
Now I am required to behave like a lady to keep the covert

When I was a kid
there were so many dreams in my eyes
Now I am scared of dreaming to avoid more sighs

When I was a kid
my little school skirt was not an invitation and was very gentle
But today my shorts will turn people judgemental

When I was a kid
I could laugh my lungs out without being mocked at
But now I have to maintain the decorum when I am sitting in a group for chat


When I was a kid
I wanted to be Cindrella whose prince charming came to rescue her
But now I know the prince must have burned her alive because she was poor.
How much I wish I could be a kid forever!

Monday, 25 April 2016

Punjabi Singers and their weird comparisons

Punjabi Singers and their weird comparisons



Apart from everything nauseating these Punjabi singers are up to, their weird comparisons can never be mistaken. These unmistakably weird comparisons will leave you wondering at the Intelligence Quotient and logical ability of our great Punjabi singers. 

1. Mitraan de blood da group ohi aa..ni jehde akkhar ton paendaa tera naaaa..(Your name starts with the same letter that my Blood Group holds. Can I get a knife to stab myself?)

2. Same size aa ni nakhro tere lakk te jatt de dolle da..(My biceps and your waist size the same. Isn't it amazing? I am bursting with laughter.)

3. Boofer tu meri meri..mai tera amplifier...fire..(I am your boofer and you are my amplifier. How logical!)

4. Mundaa sohniye ni I-Phone vargaa..janni khani hundi ni attach.. (Logical indeed!)

5. Saari family de kapde aajande..jinne di jean kuriyee..(a poor guy got a wealthy GF. #sigh#)

6. Mai terayan blood goriye..tu backbone jatt di (New addition in the list by Hardy Sandhu)..

And the list is endless. But one thing is clear, only Punjabi lyricists can think the way they think. I mean comparing a waist and a bicep needs a hell lot of sensible reasoning. No?


Friday, 26 February 2016

Every reason to love 'Prayaas'

Every reason to love 'Prayaas'



A girl named Sonali is leaving Prayaas as she has to relocate to her village. Before leaving, she left this cute letter for us. This is the cutest thing I have seen. May god bless you sonali and may you keep making us proud. Can't stop smiling..!!




 
                                     

Let's not be so judgmental

Let's not be so judgmental



Apart from everything obnoxious we are getting to hear about our motherland - from Azaadi to Barbaadi, people out there are disgracing the armed forces of this nation. Amidst all this hassle, after Martyr Lance Naik Hanumanthappa was cremated, this is what his wife Mahadevi had to say to the descendants of that very nation for whose sake, her husband died .

She said, "Bharat hamari mata hai. Isska apmaan mat karo. Bharat mata hai to hum hai, bharat mata nahi to hum bhi nahi. Mera koi beta nahi hai, par mai apni beti ko bhi senaa me sainik banaungi."
(This country is our motherland. Our existence depends upon our motherland. Do not demean our motherland. I don't have a son but I will inspire my daughter to serve in the Indian Army.)

No, she didn't demand anyone's sympathy. Your sympathy would be of no use to her. Similarly, the families of Captain Pawan Kumar, Captain Tushar Mahajan, 1999 martyrs, 1984 martyrs, don't need your sympathies. They are brave enough. All they desire is RESPECT. Respect for our motherland and respect for the people who don't demand anything in lieu of their sacrifices!



Saturday, 13 February 2016

A small effort is all he needs

A small effort is all he needs


He is Ajay. Ajay is 5 years old and reads in first standard, BBN School, Maqsudan. I have come to observe this exceptionally brilliant learning pattern in Ajay. He is very good at quickly grabbing the concepts. Let me share my personal experience with this little fellow. After making him learn the Addition, Subtraction and Multiplication (which he learned in a very short time span), I tried to teach him Division that day. This guy stunned me by learning the whole Division in just two days. Students of his age(even those who study in posh schools with the best infrastructure) take one full term of 6 months to learn the concept of Division. I gave a two digit Division sum to Ajay - he solved that correctly, I gave him a four digit sum - he again solved it correctly, then I made him practice some 10 such 4 & 5 digit questions - he got all of them CORRECT. I was so happy!

'Ab point vala Divide sikhao didi', Ajay said in his cute stammering tone. He wanted me to each him the Division involving Decimal System. I made him familiar with this concept the very next day and he got all the questions BANG ON correct! Believe it or not, if Ajay is allowed to continue and finish his study, and by some serendipity if he manages to pursue higher education as well, this guy will do wonders. I have this strong intuition that he will make news one day, and that's not a cliché.

P.S There are many such Ajays who really are gifted but lack the means to put their talent into use. Some of them grow up to become Rickshaw pullers while some turn out to be tea vendors. All they need is a guiding hand. All they need is a small effort. All they need is a 'Prayaas'..!!


Friday, 5 February 2016

Punjabi singers and their 'BRANDS' fetish

Punjabi singers and their 'BRANDS' fetish


There's no harm in loving brands and making songs on them. In fact, the makers of such brands as Audi, Ford and Jaguar need to thank our Punjabi singers BIG TIME for promoting their brands free of cost!

1. JAGUAR

  • Kudi kehndi baby pehlaan JAGUAR lae lavo, fer jinna marzi pyaar lae lavo (My gf loves expensive cars more than me) #cries a river#
  • Menu lod nayiyo teri JAGUAR di.. je Dillon sachhaa pyaar karda (What did you say? Do you think I am that shallow?)

2. FORD

  • FORD utte jana kehnda date te, mere vala jatt bada desi aa (My bf has gone insane!)
  • Ikk tere thalle v FORD aa..ikk mere thalle v FORD aa..bass fark enna eh khetan vich..te teri Ford on road aa (What? I am speechless!)

3. GAP/GUCCI/ARMANI

  • Aiven GUCCI ARMANI vich roldi jawani...check kardi brandaan vale tag ni..(Oh girl, listen up. Buying these excessively luxurious brands is equivalent to spoiling your youth. Someone give me poison!)
  • GAS GUCCI GAP hun pauno hatt gyi..firre chakkvien jeh suit sawaa k (I love my girl. She has transformed herself from being modern to being DESSI!)
  • GUCCI ARMANI de..kidda de shonk marjaani de (Then why are you cribbing? Your business?)
  • Fir lae gyi mainu ZARA te..paise lagde ne yaraan de (Oh I see, poor you!)

4. BULLET

How can we forget this most coveted brand. We Punjabis love our Bult for no reason or perhaps for making this unpleasantly obnoxious noise.
  • Bada BULT pyaara c, Bult chamkaunde..aap naa nhaunde (We are Punjabis, we love BULT!)
  • BULT kol rakh leya g..aasi chamak challo he yaaron chadti (We are Punjabis, we love BULT!)
  • Ikk yaaro BULT we lakh da..dooja yaaro mehngaa pertrol ho gya (We are Punjabis, we love BULT!)
  • BULT de pichhe baithi..patli jehi naar hove (We are Punjabis, we love BULT!)
  • O BULT chala laen de..ve ikk gedda laa laen de (We are Punjabi singers, and we are Idiots!)
         P.S. Royal Enfield owes a big share of its profits to our Punjabi singers!

Saturday, 23 January 2016

She left me with a HOPE

She left me with a HOPE


She is Anshu. I met her just yesterday and this little girl managed to impress me, becoming my favorite of all. Reason? She is just 5 years old and remembers the 'Tables' upto 15 by heart. Big deal? Well, as far as I remember, when I was 5, I was in UKG and was still struggling with 'Counting' (as per the CBSE syllabus). It was only during my second standard when my teacher managed to teach me 'Tables' upto 10. Going by this pattern, we can say that I could learn 'Tables' upto 15 only untill I turned 8. But Anshu did this when she is just 5. "2 ekum 2..2 duni 4...2 teeye 6..", she went on like a running train!

Impressed by the velocity of her learning,  I gave her a candy from my bag. She was happy to get that candy and eventually agreed to come to Prayaas every day. Because later she told me that she didn't want to come to prayaas for she thought that the teachers would beat her. "Thank you didi", Anshu said while going back that day!

I just hope, even after my last semester gets over and I leave Prayaas, she keeps on studying and learning with the same alacrity. I hope, her future doesn't get engulfed by the inherent darkness these children are accustomed to. I hope, her parents will let her utilize her intelligence to carve her way to a better future.  I hope, her parents will not marry her off when she will turn 15. I hope, she grows up to learn the WHOLE MATHEMATICS some day. I hope, efforts like Prayaas never end. I hope, such many more initiatives take birth in every being..!!


Tuesday, 12 January 2016

This left me thinking

This left me thinking


I just happened to watch a series called 'Man's World' while surfing randomly on YouTube. It's a short movie divided into a four episode series, which was aired online in September 2015. The movie gives a very powerful message that left me THINKING.

'Man's world' starts with a man named Kiran harping about 'Feminism'. He is very angry about the extra advantages and privileges given to women in today's society. He has a problem that why there is no movie named 'Father India'. He is shocked that there is a thing called 'marital rape', and mocks it by saying that marital rape is akin to calling a person pulling out money from his own wallet a thief. He brushes away the 'that time of the month' issue of women at workplaces by terming it as mere work evading excuse. His friend makes a remark -'Life is a fight between chest and breast, and in the end breast always wins' - on this biased society which, according to him, treats men badly. He doesn't even like this system of reserving seats for women in public transports. So one day, a drunk Kiran makes a wish to God to turn this world upside down and let men and women swap places.

What follows is a hilarious description of the changes he starts discerning before realizing that God has actually granted him his wish. And I need to mention this one when he starts feeling that disturbingly irksome pain in his stomach and spots blood on his trousers. Rest of the movie tells us about how this world treats women so differently. There are some strange set of rules for women. Kiran experiences all this, ranging from dowry to marital rape, eave teasing, bias at workplaces, and female feticide. 

At the end, Kiran is found talking to his son about his secret. He tells him that he doesn't want to CHANGE this world again, but FIX it in the favor of both the sexes!

Monday, 11 January 2016

Hope it gets better

Hope it gets better


Defence minister Manohar Parikar's latest statement has given me a reason to believe, and has restored my hopes that something better can happen in this nation. According to Mr Parikar - 'We need to give some PAIN to those people who carry out terrorist attacks in our country'. This statement is apt and suggestive of the fact that India needs to change it's attitude towards those people who are always conspiring to beleaguer us.

I mean, how many more Colnels like Niranjan Kumar would have to die before this nation understands that pampering a person who bothers us will not let it change it's behavior. All these singers, actors, and other artists who are allowed to earn money from our soil should be banned. I think this is the only way to provide them pain. Apart from this, Intelligence agencies should be allowed to do the needful!

Friday, 1 January 2016

It's still the same

It's still the same


Another year has started. People are welcoming this new year by wishing each other happiness and prosperity for the coming days ahead. There are celebrations all around. Amidst all these celebrations, something seems really wrong. Even though, I am sending smileys to random people in return of their wishes, happiness is missing. Because there are so many people for whom there is no meaning of a new year. There is nothing happy about any year that starts after 31st December for them.

A mother whose daughter was brutally raped three years ago is still deprived of justice, and many more 'Nirbhyas' are lined up this year. No I am not an optimist!

A father whose martyred son was subject to inexplicable torture (Pakistanis had burnt the bodies of their captured prisoners with cigarettes, piercing the ear-drums with hot rods, puncturing eyes before removing them, breaking most of their teeth and bones, fracturing their skulls, cutting the lips, chipping of nose, chopping off limbs and private organs of the soldiers, and finally shooting them dead), is still not able to believe that his beloved son is no more. Many more Lt. Saurav Kalias are lined up this year. No I am not an optimist!

So many children sleep hungry in my country. They are denied education, food, respect and are forced to live aimless lives. Every damn year is a nightmare for them. Many more such ill fated children are lined up this year also. No I am not an optimist!

People who sleep on pavements were rendered handicapped because a spoilt brat wanted to do drunk driving. Many more Salman Khans are lined up this year too. There's no reason to be optimistic. I have lost all my optimism.